A brief history of being okay…

I wake up, not wanting to get up.I look to my window where my favorite quote is written…

” The most wasted days are those without laughter”

I smile back at it, but I’m too weak to hold that smile.

We all know that we’re made for good, believe me i always make people feel happy if i could.

But i had the worst year of my life, I know I can’t be near knife.

I see everyone above me and I’m sinking all alone down here.

I’m seeking their help, but they’re too high to listen.

I have nightmares and thoughts that continue to frighten me, and I think it’s because they might be true.

It’s hard to think that you can never hurt.

Im screaming and pressing my hands in a garden filled with dirt.

I feel empty and fragile, like I’m about to break, Id be drained with water and sink like paper if i got in a lake.

I stare at my ceiling night and day, wishing I wasn’t in this “life” play.

Is it too late to say I’m done?

Oh dear I haven’t just begun…

I know, I know it’ll be alright.

Though my heart shattering box is almost done.

I keep imagining myself as someone saving lives, helping people, making life awesome.

Yet everyday it gets more far away.

I know that I’m being so weird and annoying,

But writing is what makes me feel heard, it’s what’s been making me strong.

After all this pain I’ve thrown in my heart, can I at least have a new start?

Today, I decided that I’m gonna be the best of the best.

I’m gonna work hard and put tape on my shattered box…

I’m gonna kick life’s butt and show it who’s the boss…

I’m gonna be the best of the best.

I’m gonna get up and work like my life depended on it, it’s gonna be lit.

I’m gonna change and be the change that i want to see in the world.

I’m gonna be the real me…

I am the best me that could be, and always will be.

And remember this my love,

You’re always gonna be you,

You’re always gonna be okay,

You’re always gonna be the best,

You’re always gonna be fine,

You’re always gonna get right back up…


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